Who I Want to Be
The girl I want to be is beautiful. She knows the right thing to say, holds herself just the right way. She’s the radiant one, kind, tempered, and enough. She looks youthful, slim, and pretty, always happy, always tender. She’s bold, that girl, ready to speak her mind. Her temper never gets the best of her and what she speaks is truth mixed with love. The girl I want to be smiles sweetly, always prepared to hope the best.
In my dreams, that girl is perfect. She’s everything I seek to be always and everything I’m not. She’s genuine and wise. That girl is efficiency, energy, and life. But mostly, she always knows and acts on what is right. Folks are proud of her, and she always belongs. Even though she’s perfect, she’s the epitome of humility. She doesn’t know fear, doesn’t embrace insecurity. That girl is solid. She’s a 10.
She’s me, on my best days, and she’s gone on my worst days.
The Girl I Tend to Be
I’m not perfect, never seem to know how to hold my tongue. I’m torn between honesty and pride. I’m stuck with what I want to say, but I never know if it’s right. I’m pretty some days, and some days, I’m really not. I smile a lot, but often, it’s a lie. The girl existing inside of me is me with a lot of flaws. I’m too slim, I’m too chunky, and occasionally, I’m just right. Half the time, I have zeal and energy, and I whip through every task. The other half, I sit in my favorite corner, wishing the world would pass me by.
I’m hot headed, quick to pick a fight. But my remorse is genuine, and I wish I could try again while understanding that I wouldn’t know how to do it any better. Mostly, the girl that I tend to be wishes she could be who I want to be.
Who I am
Life’s kind of lame with all those comparisons though. And seeking better often leads to striving for perfect. I wasn’t meant to complain so much, wasn’t meant to live in my flaws. When I stop looking at who I tend to be or who I want to be, and decide to embrace who I am, life gets a little more amusing, a fraction more rewarding, and much more fulfilling. Ironically, when I’m grateful for who I am, I become a little more like who I’d like to be and a little less like who I tend to be.
Check out more from me at https://purposefullyput.com/2024/04/11/magic-in-the-mundane-big-love-in-small-moments/
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